“Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need.” Marshall B. Rosenberg
Every day is an opportunity to create new resources for ourselves.
As I sit in my office, processing the current events of the world around me, I’m allowing space for the uncertainty that has shaped our landscape during this time of global transition. Many of us are unclear on how we ‘should’ feel, and this leads to inner conflict as we each have our own lens and inner experience of life.
A beautiful way to begin to untangle what it is that we are feeling and why is to sit with them. Holding our feelings can appear terrifying at first, but if we approach it from a position of curiosity we can find immense peace and freedom in this practice.
One of the most healing moments of life is the moment we become aware that our feelings are simply communicating a need. Feelings are a manifested expression of our current state and what needs our attention. When we allow our feelings the attention they are asking us for, our path becomes clear. We can bring our needs into fulfillment step by step.
When we understand that feelings are a way of communicating to self and that we are in control of our attention to them, we no longer have to overidentify with them.
For instance, you are not a sad person. You are a person who is currently experiencing sadness.
Your sadness is not you, it is a signal. Allow that signal your full attention. Give it space to communicate with you.
Recognize the sensations that come, breathe, accept its message to you.
It is then, and only then, that we can begin to release.
We can’t chase out our feelings, we can only give them time and give them compassion. When we treat our feelings like children and take on the role of a soothing mother, the tantrum slows to a stop and is transformed through a safe space of deeper connection.
Instead of reacting to our emotions, we can act in accordance with their signals.
Are you aware that you have tools to interact with your feelings resourcefully?